My Own Worst Enemy

Mom Guilt.  I has it. I has LOTS of it.  (Yes, I know that's not proper grammar, and neither is this.)

Every day I berate myself for what I should be doing or what I should have done.  I'm getting a guilt complex about my guilt complex.  I am tired of feeling guilty ALL THE TIME.  I am tired of yelling at my husband or my child(ren). I am tired of having a messy house.  I am tired of the mice in said house that we cannot get rid of. I am tired of being financially unstable.  I am just plain TIRED.  And what does being tired do to a mom - it gives you Mom Guilt, because you cannot do ALL OF THE THINGS.  I'm not trying to be Super Mom here, I'm just trying to get ahead on something.

I am trying so hard to be intentional about things in my life, and I feel like I'm failing miserably (see post #1).  So, what do I do?  I add more to the pile 'o Mom Guilt.  "Why didn't you wash dishes tonight? You really need to take care of the overflowing pile in the sink." "There is still a huge pile of laundry in the family room that needs to be folded and put away - you're such a lazy mess, you couldn't even find underwear this morning."  Eventually, I found clean underwear, but that's not the point.  The point is that I keep trying to make small goals and find that I am too tired at the end of the day to even attempt to accomplish anything. 

However, I did get two things done yesterday evening - I washed some pump parts and bottles so I could pump for 2.0 and I swept up the floor so Hubs could sidecar the crib for me.  I am grateful for his help, because there is no way I could have done it by myself.  He did all the heavy lifting and hard work.  I cleaned up the floor and held doors while he put them back on (removing doors was WAY easier than taking the crib apart).  All of this greatness to help me get a better night's sleep and we still snapped at each other because we are communicating like crap (see TIRED).  So, add that to the guilt pile. 

The worst part about all of this Mom (Wife) Guilt?  It's all self imposed - I am my own worst enemy - no one is telling me I'm a crappy mom (wife).  Everyone is supporting me and trying to find ways to relive some of the mom guilt/stress.  I keep trying to resort back to my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy training - don't dwell, find something happy to focus on, if a negative thought pops up combat it with your awesomeness (okay, so that's not exactly CBT, but it helps sometimes) - but I am failing miserably (again, see post #1).  At this point, I am afraid my Mom Guilt is less standard Mom Guilt and more Post Partum Depression, and that is not cool, man.  NOT COOL. 

So, today I am saying to hell with Mom Guilt.  I WILL get some things done this weekend, and anything that doesn't get done will get done next week. I may even carve out some me time.  I mean, I am in desperate need of a pedicure and I have some pretty polishes just itching to be on my toes.

What do you do about Mom (or Dad) Guilt?